You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
