oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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