I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if only i could text you this smell
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize