Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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