i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
