i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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