just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Let's get the cat blown out
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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