yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
