I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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