I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You may now shotgun with the bride
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
