I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize