ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
