I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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