I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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