im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need water and some morals
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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