Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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