Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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