you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Randomize