all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
