She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
