So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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