Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
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