I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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