nut hugger
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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