So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
