Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
