She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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