By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
