We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yo dont text me then not text me
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
