I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sponge bath it is.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
