What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize