would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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