Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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