She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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