So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've blown a few things in my day
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
