I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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