you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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