We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
