i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
