grandma shit on top of the toilet
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
