you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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