Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
