Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
