So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
