this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize