i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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