My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
