My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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