ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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