there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
