ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
