Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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