my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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