Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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