i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize