Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
