Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
