we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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