I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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