once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
