I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Boobs speak an international language.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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