awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
