I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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