I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Green mimosas i think yes
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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