I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
a search helicopter?!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
