i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
