either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
