I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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