you guys were way drunker than both of me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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