She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
