I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think I am morally bankrupt
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
