Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
