It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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