just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
